Nobody is a perfect parent. Not even that one mom in your kid’s class who always looks immaculate and unflustered with her small baby as she trots off in her skinny jeans while you catch sight of your reflection in the windows and see Cheetos in your hair while your baby screams bloody murder. She only LOOKS perfect. And to someone else, YOU look like you’ve got this mom-thing down too.
None of us do though. We fake it until we make it. But there are some things we’ve all got to stop doing in order to be the best we can be for our kids. Because we don’t need to be perfect and we don’t want to execute bad parenting but we do need to give it our all. Here’s how:
1. Stop screaming
I know it’s easier said than done, especially when you ask everyone nicely to please stop running. By the 10th time you’ve asked in a normal tone and no one has bothered to observer, it’s natural to lose it. But work harder to hold your tongue. Get up and go over to your children, look them in the eye and tell them to stop. Besides, that is even scarier than your yelling and will result in the positive behavior you’re looking for from your kids.
2. Stop being an outsider
As our kids get older, it’s only natural to try to give them some space, but too much space puts you on the outside of their life. You still need to be involved even as they get bigger. So baseball isn’t that exciting, but your child loves it so you better get to one of his games and show him you’re all in. Be involved and be present in your child’s life, even if the things they like are not what you like.
3. Stop forgetting what being young is like
Somewhere along the road to life, we forgot how to let go and have fun. Take a cue from your kids and instead of being angry that you’ve been caught in the rain without an umbrella and your mascara is running down your face, laugh and splash in the moment. Children worry about things too. Do my classmates like me? Will I get in trouble if I don’t make a good grade? Show them love as well as how to shake off the things that trouble our minds instead of constantly dwelling in it.
4. Stop making their decisions
While giving advice to your child is a good thing to do, making all the decisions for your child is not. When your child is young and wants to run around naked in the snow, you can put the kibosh on that one. When your child is a teen and wants to look at colleges that have the best basket-weaving programs, you need to let him make that choice. If we make all the decisions for our kids, they will never learn to think independently. We can’t hold their hand through a job interview or sit next to them every day at work. We must teach them how to do these things themselves.
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