It’s hard to think about, but one day, we won’t be around to help our children out. We need to give them the tools now so that they grow into strong and independent people who can do things for themselves. To grow into capable and confident adults, we need to encourage them. Here’s what you can say to your kids to help them achieve independence.
- “Give it a try.”
Sometimes, kids get scared about trying something new because they aren’t already good at it. Encourage them to let go of that fear by explaining to them how to try it and showing them by example. Then turn them loose on it, but stay nearby for any questions. You want them to work through the difficulties to also discover that hard work pays off.
- “Try as many times as it takes.”
Often, kids give up before they really try. But what they really need to know is that most things in life require lots of hard work. So let them know they might not get it the first time, but if they persist, they can make anything happen.
- “Do it yourself.”
Don’t do everything for your children. When they ask you for things that they can take care of themselves, tell them to do it themselves. If you’re busy and your child asks you to get her a cup of water and she’s capable of doing it by herself, don’t cave in. Tell her to do it herself. Building this independence and attitude of capability are essential.
- “What’s going to happen?”
When reading with your kids or watching Paw Patrol, ask them this question so that they aren’t just watching and listening. You want them actively engaging in the storyline. Get them thinking about the possibilities of the actions of characters, because when those things come up in real life, they’ll begin questioning what will happen from their actions.
- “What do you think is a better choice?”
When children act up as they all do, ask them this question. Will screaming and carrying on lead you to get your way? Or should you calm down and do things the right way? Which one will lead you to the outcome you desire? While this won’t work on a toddler, bigger children will definitely let you into their mind with their reasoning, which will help clue you in more about the person that your child is.
Ultimately, that’s what you want out of this…to know your children better and to set them up as critical thinkers who can take a challenge and work it out. Even if they don’t win every time, they will learn that they will gain some knowledge and experience out of every situation and that will help them achieve the greatness you wish for them.
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