The Nasty Effects of Rejection in Childhood

And what you can do to avoid making your child feel that way!

It’s true that most parents don’t set out to deliberately make their children feel rejected. But it’s also just as true that parents need to pay attention to their behaviors when interacting with their children so that they feel loved and wanted.

When children feel rejected on a constant basis, it can tear them apart. The worst part of rejection in childhood though is that it keeps perpetuating at a constant rate. If your child thinks she has no worth, she will behave in such a way that will invite others to use her for her kindnesses. She’ll just want to be liked and loved and will do anything to get people to feel that way for her. While rejection is a normal part of things in life – we don’t get every job we apply for and not every person we will like will like us back – we want to avoid having our children build their identity around this perception because it will manifest itself into their personalities, causing them to always have a fear of being rejected.

If you play favorites with your children, play on your phone instead of being present during an activity with them or pay no attention to your child’s interests, you are causing your child to feel rejected. But you can turn that right around because all children want from us is to be loved. Nobody is perfect. You don’t have to always be singing children’s songs or make up words like “nutty fudge-kins” to yell when you’ve stubbed your toe. You just need to be there emotionally and provide love and praise.

Take an interest in your child when she tells you about something. The time we have with our children is a precious gift. Before long, they won’t talk to us in the car anymore as we shuttle them to and from school. They’ll just pop in their earbuds and roll their eyes at us. “Whatever, Mom.” Open the lines of communication now by actively listening to your child. We all have work to do but we also need to make time for our kids. When you put down your work for even just 15 minutes to chase your kids around the yard, they’ll be more likely to leave you in peace to finish your task after you’ve paid them some attention.

Check in with your child often about their feelings. Find out how school was that day. Find out how they feel and if they need your help with anything. Being there for them will alleviate the feeling of rejection and make them feel fulfilled and confident, which is exactly how all children in this world should always feel as they forge on toward their own adulthood.

 

 

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